Matthew isn't super into writing, and this one is about balancing work/life balance for moms, so take a guess as to who is writing!
As I sit here, I've got dinner thawing, a baby sleeping, a diaper bag half packed for tomorrow, clean clothes on the floor waiting to be folded (don't judge), a husband on the way home from work, and a mountain of work waiting for me when I get back tomorrow. I'm trying hard not to think too much about what I've got tomorrow, and that's where this post is leading.
I am called to ministry- and I've know it since junior high. I am so blessed to have a husband who understands and supports me in this call, and the opportunity to serve God "part time" as an educational minister in a local church. Being part time means that I can be at home to take care of our daughter and manage our household while still being able to serve God in the manner that he has called me.
My vocation is a demanding one- strange hours, working until the job is done, maintaining confidentiality, coordinating volunteers, lots of meetings, planning large events, evaluating curriculum, finding and equipping leaders, etc. I love that God has given me this opportunity to serve Him, I love that every day is something new, and I love that I get to use my gifts and grow and stretch myself and hopefully instill in others a deeper love and understanding of God. The problem comes in when you go from those huge, often lofty heights of debating faith development and implementation of events and programs to changing dirty diapers and singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" fifteen times in an hour. It can be hard to handle the huge mental shift.
I am still a new first time mom, and I know I will find a balance at some point, but right now it is tough. I want to give my all to my vocation calling of educational ministry, and I want to give my all to my personal callings of wife and mommy. I want to be the best- at everything. But how to manage the transition from work to home is my current dilemma. I don't know that there is an answer except time, prayer, and practice. And I know this is not a new problem. Women have been wondering how to balance all of their roles since the start of time I believe (what, you thought this problem was new to modern working moms? I don't believe so- can you imagine what a frontier woman had to do in a day- help her husband work the land, run the house, put food on the table, make clothes, and educate and entertain her children- I don't know where they found the time!). I do believe it will get easier and that I will get better at it. In the mean time I'll continue to have discussions with myself in the car on the way home from church on the way to pick up my daughter about what I have to do tomorrow at work and what I have to do once I get home. Because my daughter loves me and needs my full attention, and what God has called me to, He will equip me for. Even if it is giving me the patience sing that silly "Itsy Bitsy Spider" song just one more time.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, October 29, 2012
Where have we been?
So, we didn't end up updating this like we'd hoped. The truth was, we were at the start of a rough journey and I was having a hard time not writing about what I was really feeling. In June 2009 we started our journey to start a family, and we knew it might not be easy. By October, the last post before this, we were worried might be looking at a long road. We were correct. After a lot of stress, tears, prayers, and craziness, we have our daughter! Lucienne was born on May 5, 2012, was placed with us on May 7, and she is a light! (Literally, her name means light :-) ). Here is what else we've been up to in the last three years:
* We moved! Matthew was laid off from Lockheed Martin in September 2010 and got a job back in the Central Texas area that same month. I followed in October, and we sold our house almost 2 years ago. It sounds crazy, but this was an answer to prayer. We wanted so badly to be back "home". Matthew getting laid off meant we didn't have to pay back what Lockheed had paid for his school, and we got the chance to move back where our hearts were.
*Matthew finished school! He graduated in January with his bachelor's degree. He worked so hard, for so long. The last three years of school he was married, a home owner, a full time student, and working full time. I am so proud of him and all his hard work. He didn't get much downtime since Lucie was born just a few months after he finished school, but he enjoyed his few months off.
* Matthew is working on helicopters (his real love) and I have a dream-come-true job at a Methodist church here in the area. I work part time, and get to work with kids, senior adults, and people of all ages every day. I get to show them that the church loves them, that God loves them, and help them grow in their faith. Every day is a fun challenge.
*After living in a tiny two bedroom apartment (and downsizing from a three bedroom house), we are finally getting into something permanent. We just signed a contract to build a house here in the town where we live. We are hoping to move in by April and throw a house warming/Lucie's first birthday/Cinco de Mayo party.
I will try to be better about writing in this, but no promises. I've got an almost crawling-almost 6 month old, a busy job ("part time" means I only get paid part time- I work strange hours and work until the job is done), an apartment to keep clean and organized, a family to feed, and a husband to spend time with. But this will be a good place to document the changes in our lives, and we have a lot of them coming up in the next few months.
* We moved! Matthew was laid off from Lockheed Martin in September 2010 and got a job back in the Central Texas area that same month. I followed in October, and we sold our house almost 2 years ago. It sounds crazy, but this was an answer to prayer. We wanted so badly to be back "home". Matthew getting laid off meant we didn't have to pay back what Lockheed had paid for his school, and we got the chance to move back where our hearts were.
*Matthew finished school! He graduated in January with his bachelor's degree. He worked so hard, for so long. The last three years of school he was married, a home owner, a full time student, and working full time. I am so proud of him and all his hard work. He didn't get much downtime since Lucie was born just a few months after he finished school, but he enjoyed his few months off.
* Matthew is working on helicopters (his real love) and I have a dream-come-true job at a Methodist church here in the area. I work part time, and get to work with kids, senior adults, and people of all ages every day. I get to show them that the church loves them, that God loves them, and help them grow in their faith. Every day is a fun challenge.
*After living in a tiny two bedroom apartment (and downsizing from a three bedroom house), we are finally getting into something permanent. We just signed a contract to build a house here in the town where we live. We are hoping to move in by April and throw a house warming/Lucie's first birthday/Cinco de Mayo party.
I will try to be better about writing in this, but no promises. I've got an almost crawling-almost 6 month old, a busy job ("part time" means I only get paid part time- I work strange hours and work until the job is done), an apartment to keep clean and organized, a family to feed, and a husband to spend time with. But this will be a good place to document the changes in our lives, and we have a lot of them coming up in the next few months.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Brown socks- or the division of chores :-)
If you can't tell by Matt's latest entry, we have started the bathroom remodel! Right now we are still in the demo/rebuilding walls phase, but once that's done the rest should go quickly! I have been so blessed to have a husband who enjoys building things and actually knows what he is doing. It's like living with Tim "the tool man" Taylor from Home Improvement, but with a Tim who actually knows what he's doing and isn't constantly hurting himself ;-).
Today's post is dedicated to our division of chores. During our pre-martial counseling we talked about how we would break up the division of labor around our house. We took a somewhat traditional route, with Matt being responsible for most things outside, and me being responsible for most inside things. (Side note: not because we felt so much that this was "the way it should be", but because I have pretty bad outdoor allergies and can't help much with outside stuff most times of the year, and Matt's not really that great at cooking).
Since I am in charge of getting most inside things done, that puts me in charge of laundry. I sort the clothes, wash them, dry them, and fold them.... except for socks. I don't like folding socks. This is a chore that takes more patience than I currently posses and that I find very tedious. It also takes me back to helping my mom sort socks for a family of 5- three girls and two boys, which as you can imagine is a ton of socks. So, Matt, being the best husband in the entire world, is kind enough to help me out with this and matches up all of our socks so that they can be put away.
This has been going on now for the past two years, with great success, except for my brown dress socks. Matt refuses to fold them, and he just threw them at me for me to fold a moment ago, inspiring this somewhat silly entry. These socks are not cotton, but something different from regular socks, as they are made to be worn with dress slacks. Because of their unique texture, they cause my poor husband some problems. He has calluses on his hands, and the socks end up sticking to his hands every time.
This may not sound like a big deal, but let me explain. My husband is a "manly man". At around 6 foot 4, he's a big guy. He can have a beard in a few days tops, and seems to know how to fix anything. He kind of reminds me of a lumberjack... Now picture this lumberjack man looking like a cat with tape on it's paws when he's trying to fold those brown socks. The mental picture is funny, but seeing it in person will make you laugh until you cry.
This is why I love my husband: He's a wonderful man with a great sense of humor, and he is willing to laugh along with me and the little silly things in life.
Today's post is dedicated to our division of chores. During our pre-martial counseling we talked about how we would break up the division of labor around our house. We took a somewhat traditional route, with Matt being responsible for most things outside, and me being responsible for most inside things. (Side note: not because we felt so much that this was "the way it should be", but because I have pretty bad outdoor allergies and can't help much with outside stuff most times of the year, and Matt's not really that great at cooking).
Since I am in charge of getting most inside things done, that puts me in charge of laundry. I sort the clothes, wash them, dry them, and fold them.... except for socks. I don't like folding socks. This is a chore that takes more patience than I currently posses and that I find very tedious. It also takes me back to helping my mom sort socks for a family of 5- three girls and two boys, which as you can imagine is a ton of socks. So, Matt, being the best husband in the entire world, is kind enough to help me out with this and matches up all of our socks so that they can be put away.
This has been going on now for the past two years, with great success, except for my brown dress socks. Matt refuses to fold them, and he just threw them at me for me to fold a moment ago, inspiring this somewhat silly entry. These socks are not cotton, but something different from regular socks, as they are made to be worn with dress slacks. Because of their unique texture, they cause my poor husband some problems. He has calluses on his hands, and the socks end up sticking to his hands every time.
This may not sound like a big deal, but let me explain. My husband is a "manly man". At around 6 foot 4, he's a big guy. He can have a beard in a few days tops, and seems to know how to fix anything. He kind of reminds me of a lumberjack... Now picture this lumberjack man looking like a cat with tape on it's paws when he's trying to fold those brown socks. The mental picture is funny, but seeing it in person will make you laugh until you cry.
This is why I love my husband: He's a wonderful man with a great sense of humor, and he is willing to laugh along with me and the little silly things in life.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Our most current project: Week One
What you're looking at here is a view from our master bedroom toward the hall leading to our master bathroom. As you can see, we have a long hallway (which, by the way, is complete wasted space) leading to our bath, which happens to be rather small. In fact, we almost didn't buy this particular house because of the cramped space back here. However, we decided that if we bought the house, we would remodel the bath/hallway as soon as we had the time to do so.We toyed with the idea of having a contractor come do the
work for us since
we were originally told that a permit would be required to do the renovation. However, after having a contractor give us an estimate, and finding out that no permit was required after all, we decided to do the work ourselves. So here we are, day one of our remodel project. The photo above is of the bedroom before construction began and to the right is a view into our tiny master bath.The general idea is to demolish the existing doorway, seen here, and move the door to the end of the hall nearest the bedroom, thus enlarging the bath area with no real detriment to useful bedroom space.
This will involve the following:
1. Remove door and existing doorway (along with carpet and trimboards)
2. Frame in new doorway
3. Add drywall, begin framing in opening above door, finish removing old doorway.
And that's as far as I've gotten this week...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
love being married, not so sure about being a grown up!
The title says it all... I think Matt and I are both still getting used to this whole "grown up" thing. (On a side note, will we ever??) There are bills to pay, groceries to buy, cooking, home and car maintenance and upkeep, and chores to bed done... usually something in each of these categories to do each day. Add on top of that school for Matt and full time jobs for both of us, and we can be pretty busy! I cannot image how much things will change and how busy we will be one day when we add children to the mix! (emphasis on the "one day" in that sentence for my mom who might be reading this!) Being married is by far the most awesome part of being a grown up. Having someone who shares the good and the bad, in life and in chores, is a blessing. I love working with my husband to keep our house in good shape, to solve the everyday problems, and get things done. I love learning more about him and myself each day as we grow together. I know most people in the United States get married at an older age than we chose to get married, but I love learning and growing with my spouse.
The reason for my reflection on my short (so far, we're in it for the long haul!) marriage is that my little brother got married this past weekend. Maybe it's the big sister in me, but sometimes I worry about them- will they be able to handle the pressures of real life and still like, love, and respect each other? Do they know what they are getting themselves in to? Of course, my brother is older than I was when I got married and has been on his own longer than I had, and I'm sure they will do just fine and grow and figure things out together just as Matt and I did, but that concern was still there. I finally chalked it up to the question "do they really know what marriage is", but then I realized that I don't think you can know what it will be like until you experience it for yourself. You can be mentally prepared to be selfless, work hard for what is best for both of you, love and respect someone, but doing these things on a daily basis is what a marriage really is, and until you have to do it daily, I don't think you can be fully prepared. I have been and will be praying for them as they start out their lives together and learn how to work together as a couple. I am so happy for them as they start out on this new journey in their life, and I pray that their marriage will be a very happy and joyful one because I love them both very much! My advice: enjoy the wonderful parts and learn to work together on the not so wonderful parts of being a grown up!
The reason for my reflection on my short (so far, we're in it for the long haul!) marriage is that my little brother got married this past weekend. Maybe it's the big sister in me, but sometimes I worry about them- will they be able to handle the pressures of real life and still like, love, and respect each other? Do they know what they are getting themselves in to? Of course, my brother is older than I was when I got married and has been on his own longer than I had, and I'm sure they will do just fine and grow and figure things out together just as Matt and I did, but that concern was still there. I finally chalked it up to the question "do they really know what marriage is", but then I realized that I don't think you can know what it will be like until you experience it for yourself. You can be mentally prepared to be selfless, work hard for what is best for both of you, love and respect someone, but doing these things on a daily basis is what a marriage really is, and until you have to do it daily, I don't think you can be fully prepared. I have been and will be praying for them as they start out their lives together and learn how to work together as a couple. I am so happy for them as they start out on this new journey in their life, and I pray that their marriage will be a very happy and joyful one because I love them both very much! My advice: enjoy the wonderful parts and learn to work together on the not so wonderful parts of being a grown up!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Where has the time gone?
So it's been quite a while since I've had the time or inclination to write. My (Kristen's) work has been really crazy the past few months, and it's left me with no desire to even look at a computer or write with one once I leave work. Many of the things going on in our life are not really "broadcast to the entire world" worthy, either too boring, or too private, so that also had limited our writing. It's strange to think of your boss, parents, or complete strangers reading this, but I guess that's something we'll (or maybe just me since Matt is not that interested in writing in here due to a full time job and being in school full time as well) have to get over.
My topic for today is our current living situation, which over the past few months has gotten some rather strange comments, and that is really starting to bother me.
My husband and I own a home in the DFW area. We've been married for two years, and been living in this house for just over a year. Late this spring, my best friend, who is so much like a sister to me, moved in. My husband and I were both happy to have her move in with us. She lived in our guest room and uses a guest bathroom on the other side of our split floor plan house. She buys her own food for most meals, has her own schedule, and pays us a small amount of rent. Some days we see her in the evenings, and other times our schedules differ and we may not see her for several days at a time.
We all consider this a win-win situation. She gets a place to live for cheap, near her boyfriend, and we get someone for me to spend time with while Matthew is in class and someone who looks after our pets many times while we are gone out of town. There is no plan for this to be permanent as Matt and I are looking to start a family in the next few years and my friend and her boyfriend are considering marriage in the next few years, but she is welcome to stay as long as we are all comfortable with the arrangement, we have a baby, or they get married, whichever may come first.
The problem in this otherwise great arrangement is some of our family and friends just don't get it, and either ask endless questions about how we are all able to live in one house and get along (which doesn't bother me too much), or make comments about how she must be interfering with our married life. The questions as I said do not bother me, since most of them are just curious about how we all get along in the house (How do you split up food? etc.), but the snide comments are another problem.
My friend does not interfere with our married life. One person asked my friend, "What if her husband wants to walk around the house in his boxers, huh?". Well, person, if my spouse wants to wander around the house like that, he can do it when she is not here, or put on some pants when he is not in our room... it's not hard to do! (and just an FYI, for his sister who might read this, he didn't ever wander around in his boxers in the house, even before our friend move in, so don't worry!)
One other point: we are in a recession/depression, and many people are taking in boarders or roommates to make ends meet during this time. While our intent was to help out a friend in need, not add to our income, the situation is not that different. I'm not sure why we get some of these comments when other people all across the country are doing the same thing.
Matt and I pretty much live our lives like we did before she moved in. We just have to let her know if we will be out of town or our plans change, the same as you would do with anyone you live with. I know some people may think it's strange, or be worried for our friendship, or my marriage, but we are all adults in this household, and while we might be fairly young still, we are dealing with this very maturely.
So questions about our (current) unusual living situation are welcome, but rude comments are not. If you need to make a snide comment, don't share it with any of us or our loved ones! Keep it to yourself.
My topic for today is our current living situation, which over the past few months has gotten some rather strange comments, and that is really starting to bother me.
My husband and I own a home in the DFW area. We've been married for two years, and been living in this house for just over a year. Late this spring, my best friend, who is so much like a sister to me, moved in. My husband and I were both happy to have her move in with us. She lived in our guest room and uses a guest bathroom on the other side of our split floor plan house. She buys her own food for most meals, has her own schedule, and pays us a small amount of rent. Some days we see her in the evenings, and other times our schedules differ and we may not see her for several days at a time.
We all consider this a win-win situation. She gets a place to live for cheap, near her boyfriend, and we get someone for me to spend time with while Matthew is in class and someone who looks after our pets many times while we are gone out of town. There is no plan for this to be permanent as Matt and I are looking to start a family in the next few years and my friend and her boyfriend are considering marriage in the next few years, but she is welcome to stay as long as we are all comfortable with the arrangement, we have a baby, or they get married, whichever may come first.
The problem in this otherwise great arrangement is some of our family and friends just don't get it, and either ask endless questions about how we are all able to live in one house and get along (which doesn't bother me too much), or make comments about how she must be interfering with our married life. The questions as I said do not bother me, since most of them are just curious about how we all get along in the house (How do you split up food? etc.), but the snide comments are another problem.
My friend does not interfere with our married life. One person asked my friend, "What if her husband wants to walk around the house in his boxers, huh?". Well, person, if my spouse wants to wander around the house like that, he can do it when she is not here, or put on some pants when he is not in our room... it's not hard to do! (and just an FYI, for his sister who might read this, he didn't ever wander around in his boxers in the house, even before our friend move in, so don't worry!)
One other point: we are in a recession/depression, and many people are taking in boarders or roommates to make ends meet during this time. While our intent was to help out a friend in need, not add to our income, the situation is not that different. I'm not sure why we get some of these comments when other people all across the country are doing the same thing.
Matt and I pretty much live our lives like we did before she moved in. We just have to let her know if we will be out of town or our plans change, the same as you would do with anyone you live with. I know some people may think it's strange, or be worried for our friendship, or my marriage, but we are all adults in this household, and while we might be fairly young still, we are dealing with this very maturely.
So questions about our (current) unusual living situation are welcome, but rude comments are not. If you need to make a snide comment, don't share it with any of us or our loved ones! Keep it to yourself.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Married Packing
Matt and I are packing for our vacation with his family today, and I have made a few observations about married packing:
1. Matt and I have very different ideas about packing. I tend to be very organized (I make very detailed lists of what we need to bring) and one of those people who would be packed a whole week before if I could. Matt, while just as organized, is more last minute. He packs minutes before going out the door, but somehow ends up with everything he needs. If I do that, I end up forgetting half the stuff I need!
2. I MUST fold everything I plan on taking, I cannot just throw everything in to the bag and go. Today, everything was folded and rolled in order to fit into my bag. Matt would be ok with folding or not folding everything in the bad, depending on his mood and how much time he has to pack.
We are so alike sometimes, but so very different as well. While we are both organized, I am such a planner while he is much more spontaneous. We are very much looking forward to our vacation and a break from the everyday. It will be great to spend a week with his family and get to catch up with his parents, sister and brother in law, and our really cute nephew.
His dad's surgery went well, and he is healing well. They found some spots on his lungs and lymph nodes that they are checking out now, so we're not quite out of the woods yet on everything.
That's all for now. We are very excited about a week off!
1. Matt and I have very different ideas about packing. I tend to be very organized (I make very detailed lists of what we need to bring) and one of those people who would be packed a whole week before if I could. Matt, while just as organized, is more last minute. He packs minutes before going out the door, but somehow ends up with everything he needs. If I do that, I end up forgetting half the stuff I need!
2. I MUST fold everything I plan on taking, I cannot just throw everything in to the bag and go. Today, everything was folded and rolled in order to fit into my bag. Matt would be ok with folding or not folding everything in the bad, depending on his mood and how much time he has to pack.
We are so alike sometimes, but so very different as well. While we are both organized, I am such a planner while he is much more spontaneous. We are very much looking forward to our vacation and a break from the everyday. It will be great to spend a week with his family and get to catch up with his parents, sister and brother in law, and our really cute nephew.
His dad's surgery went well, and he is healing well. They found some spots on his lungs and lymph nodes that they are checking out now, so we're not quite out of the woods yet on everything.
That's all for now. We are very excited about a week off!
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