The title says it all... I think Matt and I are both still getting used to this whole "grown up" thing. (On a side note, will we ever??) There are bills to pay, groceries to buy, cooking, home and car maintenance and upkeep, and chores to bed done... usually something in each of these categories to do each day. Add on top of that school for Matt and full time jobs for both of us, and we can be pretty busy! I cannot image how much things will change and how busy we will be one day when we add children to the mix! (emphasis on the "one day" in that sentence for my mom who might be reading this!) Being married is by far the most awesome part of being a grown up. Having someone who shares the good and the bad, in life and in chores, is a blessing. I love working with my husband to keep our house in good shape, to solve the everyday problems, and get things done. I love learning more about him and myself each day as we grow together. I know most people in the United States get married at an older age than we chose to get married, but I love learning and growing with my spouse.
The reason for my reflection on my short (so far, we're in it for the long haul!) marriage is that my little brother got married this past weekend. Maybe it's the big sister in me, but sometimes I worry about them- will they be able to handle the pressures of real life and still like, love, and respect each other? Do they know what they are getting themselves in to? Of course, my brother is older than I was when I got married and has been on his own longer than I had, and I'm sure they will do just fine and grow and figure things out together just as Matt and I did, but that concern was still there. I finally chalked it up to the question "do they really know what marriage is", but then I realized that I don't think you can know what it will be like until you experience it for yourself. You can be mentally prepared to be selfless, work hard for what is best for both of you, love and respect someone, but doing these things on a daily basis is what a marriage really is, and until you have to do it daily, I don't think you can be fully prepared. I have been and will be praying for them as they start out their lives together and learn how to work together as a couple. I am so happy for them as they start out on this new journey in their life, and I pray that their marriage will be a very happy and joyful one because I love them both very much! My advice: enjoy the wonderful parts and learn to work together on the not so wonderful parts of being a grown up!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Where has the time gone?
So it's been quite a while since I've had the time or inclination to write. My (Kristen's) work has been really crazy the past few months, and it's left me with no desire to even look at a computer or write with one once I leave work. Many of the things going on in our life are not really "broadcast to the entire world" worthy, either too boring, or too private, so that also had limited our writing. It's strange to think of your boss, parents, or complete strangers reading this, but I guess that's something we'll (or maybe just me since Matt is not that interested in writing in here due to a full time job and being in school full time as well) have to get over.
My topic for today is our current living situation, which over the past few months has gotten some rather strange comments, and that is really starting to bother me.
My husband and I own a home in the DFW area. We've been married for two years, and been living in this house for just over a year. Late this spring, my best friend, who is so much like a sister to me, moved in. My husband and I were both happy to have her move in with us. She lived in our guest room and uses a guest bathroom on the other side of our split floor plan house. She buys her own food for most meals, has her own schedule, and pays us a small amount of rent. Some days we see her in the evenings, and other times our schedules differ and we may not see her for several days at a time.
We all consider this a win-win situation. She gets a place to live for cheap, near her boyfriend, and we get someone for me to spend time with while Matthew is in class and someone who looks after our pets many times while we are gone out of town. There is no plan for this to be permanent as Matt and I are looking to start a family in the next few years and my friend and her boyfriend are considering marriage in the next few years, but she is welcome to stay as long as we are all comfortable with the arrangement, we have a baby, or they get married, whichever may come first.
The problem in this otherwise great arrangement is some of our family and friends just don't get it, and either ask endless questions about how we are all able to live in one house and get along (which doesn't bother me too much), or make comments about how she must be interfering with our married life. The questions as I said do not bother me, since most of them are just curious about how we all get along in the house (How do you split up food? etc.), but the snide comments are another problem.
My friend does not interfere with our married life. One person asked my friend, "What if her husband wants to walk around the house in his boxers, huh?". Well, person, if my spouse wants to wander around the house like that, he can do it when she is not here, or put on some pants when he is not in our room... it's not hard to do! (and just an FYI, for his sister who might read this, he didn't ever wander around in his boxers in the house, even before our friend move in, so don't worry!)
One other point: we are in a recession/depression, and many people are taking in boarders or roommates to make ends meet during this time. While our intent was to help out a friend in need, not add to our income, the situation is not that different. I'm not sure why we get some of these comments when other people all across the country are doing the same thing.
Matt and I pretty much live our lives like we did before she moved in. We just have to let her know if we will be out of town or our plans change, the same as you would do with anyone you live with. I know some people may think it's strange, or be worried for our friendship, or my marriage, but we are all adults in this household, and while we might be fairly young still, we are dealing with this very maturely.
So questions about our (current) unusual living situation are welcome, but rude comments are not. If you need to make a snide comment, don't share it with any of us or our loved ones! Keep it to yourself.
My topic for today is our current living situation, which over the past few months has gotten some rather strange comments, and that is really starting to bother me.
My husband and I own a home in the DFW area. We've been married for two years, and been living in this house for just over a year. Late this spring, my best friend, who is so much like a sister to me, moved in. My husband and I were both happy to have her move in with us. She lived in our guest room and uses a guest bathroom on the other side of our split floor plan house. She buys her own food for most meals, has her own schedule, and pays us a small amount of rent. Some days we see her in the evenings, and other times our schedules differ and we may not see her for several days at a time.
We all consider this a win-win situation. She gets a place to live for cheap, near her boyfriend, and we get someone for me to spend time with while Matthew is in class and someone who looks after our pets many times while we are gone out of town. There is no plan for this to be permanent as Matt and I are looking to start a family in the next few years and my friend and her boyfriend are considering marriage in the next few years, but she is welcome to stay as long as we are all comfortable with the arrangement, we have a baby, or they get married, whichever may come first.
The problem in this otherwise great arrangement is some of our family and friends just don't get it, and either ask endless questions about how we are all able to live in one house and get along (which doesn't bother me too much), or make comments about how she must be interfering with our married life. The questions as I said do not bother me, since most of them are just curious about how we all get along in the house (How do you split up food? etc.), but the snide comments are another problem.
My friend does not interfere with our married life. One person asked my friend, "What if her husband wants to walk around the house in his boxers, huh?". Well, person, if my spouse wants to wander around the house like that, he can do it when she is not here, or put on some pants when he is not in our room... it's not hard to do! (and just an FYI, for his sister who might read this, he didn't ever wander around in his boxers in the house, even before our friend move in, so don't worry!)
One other point: we are in a recession/depression, and many people are taking in boarders or roommates to make ends meet during this time. While our intent was to help out a friend in need, not add to our income, the situation is not that different. I'm not sure why we get some of these comments when other people all across the country are doing the same thing.
Matt and I pretty much live our lives like we did before she moved in. We just have to let her know if we will be out of town or our plans change, the same as you would do with anyone you live with. I know some people may think it's strange, or be worried for our friendship, or my marriage, but we are all adults in this household, and while we might be fairly young still, we are dealing with this very maturely.
So questions about our (current) unusual living situation are welcome, but rude comments are not. If you need to make a snide comment, don't share it with any of us or our loved ones! Keep it to yourself.
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